And He hugged Me!
It was back in the beginning of year 1993. I suddenly learnt how God takes our prayers to the letter. I had just asked the Lord to “organize” my life, only to find out that God has a rather different concept of what “organize” means. Too late. I had already prayed and God was only too eager to answer that prayer. My life had been sort of messed up, so I just told God to take control. Frankly, it was like trying to quench a fire with gasoline. But then it happened; in the middle of turmoil Jesus hugged me; just like that, and everything changed.

I usually went to my room at about 8 PM to read and pray before going to bed later on. I would put some music and read some book, read my Bible and pray, or just “be” there with the Lord. That particular day in the summer of 93 I was at my brother’s house at about 4 PM and I began to feel an urgency to go back to my place and pray, although I did not have a prompt to pray for any specific issue. I took off somewhat startling everybody as I had just arrived a few moments ago, and arrived at my house about one hour later.

All the way home this desire, and hunger inside grew to an almost unbearable level. As I arrived at my place, I just went upstairs to my bedroom and immediately went to my usual kneeling place by a chair and knelt down. I could feel the presence of God in a rather unusual, very strong way, and although I wanted to pray, I was there without know what to say. I just knelt down and I said: “Jesus, would you hug me?” while at the same time I actually wrapped my arms around as if I was hugging someone. And then it happened.

All of a sudden the place was inundated by warmth as I had never experienced before. Suddenly I was literally hugging someone, I was touching someone physically; we were embracing each other. I could feel a head resting in my left shoulder, and could feel the touch of soft hair on my left cheek. I didn’t dare open my eyes, I wanted to see Him but at the same time I was scared. It was at the same time awesome and awful. I didn’t dare move either, I was just stuck there feeling this amazing love and at the same time experience the fear of the Lord in a way I never felt before.

I began to cry almost uncontrollably; the only way I can describe is like when babies cry so much that they stop breathing for moments (in Spanish this is medically called “sobbing spasm”); the fact is that I could not breathe, I just wept and wept and wept. After some time –I actually lost sense of time- I managed to speak, and I just said: “Lord, I want to go with you, I just want to go up hugging you”, for the first time in my life I heard an audible voice, if from the outside or from the inside I don’t know, I only know I heard Him say: “Conrad, I still want you here” Slowly He began to “withdraw” until I could not feel Him any more in a physical way, but His presence remained there and I can say it is still with me.

When things seem to go wrong, or I do feel down, or frustrated; when all the forces of hell seem to be loosed, and there are troubles of every kind, and trials; when it seems that all the things I gave my life too have been lost, and that all I have is ashes; and when people do not seem to understand, or even worse when people scoff or laugh,  then I remember that night back in time and I can say “He hugged me!” Then, as the old song goes: “It is well with my soul”

Conrad Lampan